The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. < /P>
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
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9 comments:
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Gads.
I....Uhhh.....
Gads.
Awesome! (We want more!)
By the way, the three of us finished that whiskey yesterday. Everyone KOd! It was great. Unfortunately, there were only 3 of us here, not 7... or 10. :(
WOOOOOOWWWW!! THANKS JUNI AND RON!!!!! SOOOO COOOOOOOL!!! THANK YOU!!!
and I'll take it as Jon likes the joke. haha.
Oren
Me just wants to hook up with teresa.
Wink, wink!
STOMP!
Post Stomp: Don't spill the beans.
Ooooooo. Who is Scary Monster??
Oren
Found this on angryasianman.com...
the worst way to tell your mom you dropped out of school
Some more information on Audley Yung, the former UC Riverside student who is accused of making criminal threats against the campus... the kid apparently threatened to detonate explosives during commencement in order to scare officials into canceling graduation so he wouldn't have to tell his parents that he had dropped out: Police link UCR incident to effort to spare a mother disappointment. Basically, Audley dropped out of school a little while back, and didn't want dear mom to know. So he figured the best way to prevent her from coming to graduation was to have graduation canceled... by way of bomb threat, going as far as igniting a Molotov cocktail and setting a tree on fire. If university officials canceled grad ceremonies, he wouldn't have to go, and Mom would be none the wiser.
Yeah. This situation could've been handled a lot better.
I think this actually happens a lot amongst college students. They drop out, but don't really tell the folks back home, for fear of disappointment and all that. And the checks keep coming, I guess. Then, come graduation time, parents are expecting to see their kid in a cap and gown walking across that stage. Sooner or later, the truth comes out, and there's big trouble. I have actually heard of this happening several times amongst friends and acquaintances. I don't know if it's an Asian thing. But dude, none of those kids tried to blow up the school.
More here: Filing sheds light on UC Riverside threat. My sympathies to this guy, for feeling he couldn't come clean with his parents. That said, he's an idiot. Yung was charged with making criminal threats, possession of an explosive device, igniting an explosive device, maliciously setting a fire, possession of a device with the intent to maliciously set a fire and falsely impersonating someone (the impersonation charge was filed because Yung tried to frame someone else for the crimes). And now, he joins this year's bizarre pantheon of unstable, off-kilter Asian American students... all of who seemed to have found the absolutely worst way to deal with their particular situations, to put it lightly. I'm telling you, we're seeing the birth of a new stereotype. At least summer's here. School's out, so maybe we'll get a break from all the madness... until fall.
Maybe........ (Gasp!) Is Scary Monster the guy whose Chemistry Test that was?? (GASP!) And he found this blog site, and to his Grand Amusement found that there is now a group of friends that revere his fabulous work?? (GASP!!) Cooooooooool.
Oren
I concur with Mr. Bordo... Who's Scary Monster? and, meow to everyone.
Also, I think that the post is good enough even without any comments. It's just a good, self-contained story in itself.
ah-ha! After turning on my brain and reflecting logically, I have concluded that Scary Monster must be, in fact, one of Ron & Juni's new friends! Wow. That was a tough connection to make. :)
Anyhoo, nice to meet you, sir.
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